TW: Discussions of death and addiction. 

This is a bit of a different post for me. I want to talk about the recent death of Liam Payne and how the internet reacted to it. As someone who didn’t grow up a Directioner, I watched from afar as some fans grieved, while others lashed out. I watched as the general public built conspiracies and raced to TMZ to view the photos of his body. I watched as Instagram comment sections were bombarded. 

Our society can, and should do better. If this post is triggering, please don’t feel pressured to stick around. I’ll see you in the next show review or ranking post. 🫶

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I believe that nearly everyone has a story about a celebrity death that strongly impacted them. Elvis. John Lennon. Kurt Cobain. Brittany Murphy. No matter your age, no matter how much media you consume, I believe there’s a death you’ve heard about that made you sit down and think. 

For me, that death was Cory Monteith. If you don’t know, Monteith played Finn Hudson on Glee. A very tall, very kind, very talented Canadian, Monteith was open about his struggle with addiction for many years. His death was announced in July 2013, when I was 15 years old. I remember laying in bed and crying, playing the Glee cast albums on my iPod. They honored him at that summer’s Teen Choice Awards and the Primetime Emmy Awards. I used to watch those clips and cry well into my teenage years. “The Quarterback” episode of Glee, where they tackle the death of Monteith and, by extension, Finn, is handled with such care. Ryan Murphy is not my favorite person, but that episode is a masterclass in how to write off a character whose actor suddenly passed away. 

I loved Glee and that entire cast with my whole being for many years. I will always look back on that season of my life and remember how crushed I was over Monteith’s death. That’s why I have so much empathy for the people out there experiencing grief over a celebrity passing away for the first time with the news of Liam Payne’s death. 

If you’re here, I’m certain you already know who Payne was and what happened to him last month. I won’t explain how popular he was, how he weathered many controversies in his final years, or how there were allegations surrounding him right before his death. I want to talk about the fans who loved him and the emotions they’re navigating right now. 

I was never really into One Direction growing up, a mistake that I regret now as an adult. I was unfortunately one of those girls who refused to listen to them and instead listened to “real music.” Their peak of popularity overlapped with my peak of internalized misogyny. I wish that I had let myself listen to and enjoy their music. I could have fangirled out with my friends and made more memories. Instead, I made fun of One Direction and, by extension, them. I’m no longer friends with these people, (which probably isn’t surprising) but I wish I could go back in time and apologize for how I treated them. 

I was a hypocrite, anyway. When the band released their final album in 2015, I bought it on iTunes. I listened to their discography all the time during my freshman year of college. I was finally on the Directioner train, but the band was over. 

I don’t think anyone expected the first member of One Direction to pass away in 2024. The band has been on an indefinite hiatus since 2016. There seemed to be rumblings on social media, mostly TikTok, over the past few months that a reunion performance or tour could be in the works sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, we’ll never know for sure if those rumblings were true. 

The collective shock that I watched play out on social media in the wake of Payne’s death tugged at my heart. Grown women were pulled back into their youth, remembering how much those five boys meant to them. There were tears, immediate analyses, and a sense of community between Directioners, new and old. But, of course, there was some controversy. 

In today’s day and age, with a 24/7 news cycle, people seem to want the beginning, middle, and end of a story immediately. This instinct isn’t always at the fault of the consumer. We’ve become used to getting all of the details of a story as soon as possible. But with entertainment news, there’s a disturbing pattern of entitlement coming from consumers. 

Liam Payne died? How? When? Why? What did his girlfriend say? What did his former bandmates say? What did Cheryl Cole say? How is his son? Where are the One Direction boys right now? How did they react to the news? TMZ posted photos of his body, did you see them? 

The comment sections of Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, and Louis Tomilson’s Instagram accounts were immediately flooded. These comments ranged from prayers to statements of grief, declarations of love, and accusations of blame. Yes, there were people out there who were angry at the remaining members of the band. These people seemed to save most of their vitriol for Horan, who was the last band member documented with Payne at his concert 2 weeks before Payne’s death. 

We expect loved ones or people close to a subject to release statements immediately after news of a death, divorce, or tragedy. This expectation is not only wrong but can border on being inhumane. People deserve space and time to grieve, heal, or process the news before sharing their deepest thoughts with millions of people. 

I don’t know who these people were in the comment sections demanding answers or statements from Payne’s loved ones. They could be young people, feeling confused and airing their emotions publicly. They could be obsessive fans who blur the line between passion and mania. Or, they could be trolls who deliberately poke at people to get reactions and feed their egos. What I do know is that this behavior is unacceptable.

Would you go up to someone you knew in real life and demand to know the details of how their brother passed away? Would you interrogate someone over their reaction to their grandmother’s death? Would you ask to see the photos from a car crash that killed your friend’s boyfriend? I don’t think you would. So why are we asking for these details surrounding the death of someone we never met?

Thankfully, I know that there’s only a small part of society asking these sorts of questions and acting out publicly in comment sections. But we all know that one negative comment can overshadow 100 positive comments. I desperately hope that someone on Horan’s team was able to shield him from seeing any of the angry comments left on his Instagram account, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did see a few. 

I’m grateful that when Monteith died, I didn’t race to Twitter and demand his girlfriend, Lea Michele, release a statement. She deserved to make a statement when (or if!) she wanted to.

When it comes to the recent phenomenon of people declaring that “we don’t owe each other anything,” as a society or a culture, I have to disagree. I do think we owe each other something. 

In the case of Payne’s death, we owe each other more than this. We owe each other decency. 

As Harry Styles would say, TPWK. Treat People With Kindness. It costs you nothing, but it could be worth everything.